I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
