i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
