I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
