We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
