Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
