Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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