I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
