im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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