Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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