Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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