look no pants
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think I sprained my soul last night
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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