He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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