Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
