So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize