I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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