You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
