Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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