See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
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I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
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She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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