I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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