the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
