I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
