my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
