dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
