real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
