My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My liver just had a heart attack.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
