sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
