Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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