This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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