In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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