marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
