your thong is hanging out like whoa
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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