This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
