oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
