# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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