He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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