I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
