Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
