Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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