dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You ate ashes out of my bong
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
