super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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