Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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