i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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