i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
