I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
