Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize