My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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