so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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