Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize