i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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