I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
