i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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