Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
