I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize