yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
