...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize