You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
