U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
