they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
