Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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