i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
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And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
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Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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