How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
